All the ways Gossip Girl doesn’t make sense, in the most perfect way possible
“There’s nothing quite like autumn in New York, but it’s not only the leaves that change — something in the air brings out the true colors in everyone…”
And for me, the persistent rainfall this season has brought a renewed obsession in Gossip Girl and a spark of creativity bright enough to remind myself that this blog existed.
Kristen Bell’s voice brings back a sense of nostalgia for my purple paisley comforter of 2013, where the love and allure of the Upper East Side’s elite all began.
Since then, I’ve rewatched the series seven times and counting, and this time, watching as a 23-year-old has revealed some hot takes about Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage’s masterpiece. For starters — though calling limo services, putting diamonds on hold at department stores and 16-year-olds getting bottle service at clubs seem unrelatable — Chuck, Nate, Blair, Serena, and the like may be more like us all than we think.
We all can relate to complicated relationships with our parents, dealing with fake friends, and the undeniable stress of getting into college. We didn’t have our 20-something selves to let us know that everything would be okay, but we did have CW to lean on.
Without further ado, here are my lukewarm takes of Gossip Girl after watching for the seventh (maybe eighth) time around. Disclaimer: spoilers ahead for those who haven’t watched and no, debates are not welcome.
The dead giveaway that dan is gossip girl :
If you disagree on the rest of these opinions, may we all come to a common ground with the fact that Dan is so obviously Gossip Girl, in the most embarrassing way (embarrassing for all of us I mean). Within the first five episodes of the pilot, he is the only character to spot Serena at Grand Central, thereby being the only one who could have sent the tip into Gossip Girl. Not to mention, throughout the series his character is filmed with a narration of a Gossip Girl post.
The nature of Penn Badgely’s character is actually quite similar to the idea of Gossip Girl. In Season 2, his little sister’s risk adept attitude in the pursuit of her fashion designer pipedream inspires him to take risks in his writing career. Dan goes undercover, pretending to take an interest in Bart Bass’s business proceedings, when in reality, he is looking to do an exposé on his peer Chuck and screw over the family in the process. Ultimately, Chuck sees through Dan, but his devious ways are not far off from the viral blog exposing the secrets of Manhattan’s elite.
The last, and final reason why Dan is so obviously Gossip Girl, is that whatever is posted about him is usually never that bad. Besides the self incriminating nickname of “Lonely Boy,” most of the blasts involving Dan are usually to announce when he is back with Serena, or dating someone new — a self plug if you ask me. Other characters, like Blair who got slut-shamed for cheating on Nate with Chuck, or Nate for having a fraud of a father, have it way worse.
The commute to school
A small, but painstakingly not thought through detail is the infamous commute to school in the pilot.
Chuck and Nate, a part of the Upper East Side’s high society, are filmed on the same double-decker bus as Dan Humphrey, who is supposed to be a low-life Brooklyn native.
The school of St.Jude’s for Boys is located on East 93rs Street, meaning Dan would have to take a bus from Brooklyn to Manhattan, and then two subways, to get there.
It is extremely unlikely that Dan would have actually ran into Nate and Chuck on his long voyage to school, since the two trust fund kids likely live in the same neighborhood of their high school. But, even if they don’t, where were their drivers on the boys first day? Off? I doubt it…
Blair > Serena. All day everyday.
I’m not sure if the writers foresaw Blair mainly being the villain, and Serena being the warmer, more relatable one, but sometimes it feels that way.
Anyone who says they are team S over B, has either A) not taken the show seriously or B) has been a Serena all their life (someone had to say it.)
The thing about Blair, is that she knows who she is and what she wants, and she doesn’t let anyone stand in her way, nor does she deny her toxic, sometimes manipulative means to get there.
Serena, on the other hand, has a victim mentality and walks around like she could care less about the clothes, bags, bubbly and dollar bills, even though she would be nothing without it all.
Blair is loyal to those whom she loves, and she expects the same respect in return. Hence, the questionable payback for Serena ditching her to sit front row with Poppy Lifton at Eleanor Waldorf’s show. Sure, swapping dresses may have been a low blow, but it’s a tv show after all.
Rufus and lily are the true soulmates of the show
I can’t listen to Timbaland and One Republic’s “Apologize” without romanticizing Rufus and Lily’s long standing romance. Through the 90’s, marriages (emphasis on the plural in Lily’s case), kids and scandals, these two never lost their love for one another.
After reuniting ironically the same time their kids started seeing each other, they put their feelings aside in a plight to be selfless parents.
Lily stayed away from Rufus to please her classist mother back in the day, and never went after what she truly wanted.
Though the two don’t end up together, the hopeless romantic in me believes that without all the sex, lives and scandals, L and R would have lived happily ever after
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